• Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.
• Q is not just a letter.
• Public holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.
• You know more than one theory for the origin of the name greenroom.
• You can only read from a light that is blue.
• You consider the red part of a traffic light the standby.
• You can’t remember what daylight looks like.
• You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you’ve done than what went smoothly.
• Practical, Drop, and Flat are nouns.
• Youd heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope.
• 95% of your wardrobe is black.
• You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
• You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, poly-filla, a sharpie, tie-line, a safety pin, or enough staples.
• You’re the only person you know who has never seen Cats.
• Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.
• Your Halloween costume brings to mind lines from Shakespeare.
• You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway.
• You insist on spelling theatre with an "re" not an "er".
• Even while sitting in the audience, you call the left side of the stage right and the right side of the stage left.
• Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonalds rather than going through the drive-thru.
• Instead of saying that you’re leaving, you say you’re exiting.
• At home, you strike your dishes to the kitchen.
• You spike your furniture before vacuuming.
• If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like, "Half hour til half hour."
• You call text books scripts and scripts the book.
• You have an insatiable need to coil all the cable in your house correctly.
• The gaffer tape residue on your hands has become a second skin.
• In the back pocket of all your black jeans, there is a faded area resembling a wrench.
• Cherry Coke, Jolt Cola and Coffee are your new best friends – along with the vending machine.
• Items on your birthday / holiday wish lists include: Tools, Sleep-in-a-Can, and InstaRespecta: Simply sprinkle liberally on actors and they will suddenly feel indebted to you forever.
• You find yourself waiting at the bus stop, in the summer, when its 90 degrees in the shade, wearing black pants, a black Production Crew t-shirt, black boots / shoes, a black bag, and black sunglasses.
• You’ve read the Techie Gospel so many times, you start to question why God didn’t use Techies.
• You use a gel cutter to open a bag of chips.
• You give and / or receive MagLites for special occasions (especially those mooshie romantic ones).
• You eat, sleep, and breathe tech.
• You only breathe tech
• You own promotional items from tech companies.
• You keep a list of creative ways to impale actors.
• You paint your room black.
• Someone asks you the time and you reply with 14 minutes till places, please.
• You’ve discovered many interesting uses for a MagLite (lets keep our mind out of the gutter please)
• You actually visit this web page and find it enjoyable.

• Your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
• You have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
• You’ve ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
• You’ve ever driven around the back of stores looking for discards that can be used for set pieces.
• You can find a prop in the prop room that hasnt seen the light of day in ten years, but you dont know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
• You have a Frequent Shopper Card at the Salvation Army.
• Rogers and Hammerstein is synonymous with 3 months of rehearsals.
• You start buying your work clothes at Goodwill so you can buy your costumes at the mall.
• You’ve ever taken time off your job to work on the show.
• You’ve worked your vacation time to coincide with tech week.
• You’ve ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
• Your family is more than 50% of the staff.
• You’ve ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.
• You’ve ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.
• You’ve ever appeared on stage in an English drawing room murder mystery where half the cast spoke with southern accents.
• You think Neil Simon is a misunderstood genius.
• You’ve ever appeared in a show where the cast out-numbered the audience 2 to 1 .
• You’ve ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.
• You’ve ever gotten a part because you were the only male who showed up for auditions.
• The audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.
• You’ve ever threatened anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.
• You’ve ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels.
• You’ve ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels and you’re a guy.
• You’ve ever played the father of someone your father’s age.
• Your kids know your rehearsal schedule better than you do.
• Your kids know your lines better than you do.
• Your kids deliver your lines better than you do.
• You get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theatre because you forgot your kids.
• You’ve ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
• You actually know the difference between Good Shakespeare and BAD Shakespeare, and have tried to explain the difference.
• You’ve ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was really drunk.
• The lead vocalist complains that the music keeps changing tempos, but the fact is the music is on a tape/cd.
• You’ve ever appeared on stage with people you’re related to.
• You’ve ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, “Just paint it black no one will ever see it.”
• You’ve appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.
• The set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor is still wet five minutes before curtain.
• You’ve ever been told that the reason your director has no eyebrows is because he/she handled special effects for the last show.
• You’ve ever said, “Dont worry use the duct tape and if that doesnt work well just hot glue it.”

Maintenance is one of the big issues in venues. Because doing maintenance can mean down time for the venue, you need to schedule your maintenance to have the least effect on your revenue.

To lessen the effect on your revenue base, preventative maintenance throughout the year is imperative. You need to put aside a few hours each week to repair and fix up anything that began to have problems during the previous week.

In your venue, everything needs to be in tip-top shape for the next client. Even if a piece of equipment is rarely used, it still needs to work properly if a client requires it. So, as the week progresses you make notes of what might need attention and pull out gear that breaks, especially if you cannot fix it right away.

This will be the time when you wish you had bought an extra one as backup. I try and keep an instrument or two, a mic and a few cables tucked away for these moments. These weekly checks are also good for checking the focus again, changing color, etc.

At least once a year you need to clean all of your equipment and make sure it is safe and fully operational. This is also a good time to do the routine test and tag.

This can also be the time to do some simple upgrades to your venue. The trick is to always have your venue presented in the best possible light. A client will notice that the venue is working properly and that there have been improvements.

Always listen to the client, they may come up with a great idea that you can implement. Your clients are your bread and butter – never dismiss their ideas.

Also ask your staff what improvements need to be made to make the job easier. Also listen to them about maintenance issues, and get them involved. The more they know the equipment the better they will be at getting the maximum benefit from it.

Also if any safety issues have come up, these also need to be addressed. In fact safety issues should have priority over everything else. No-one likes a dead client or techie.

So get the duster, screwdrivers out and make your workplace better.

What a Client Should Expect

Once a client hires a venue, what do they get for their money in the way of lighting?

There should be a standard lighting setup. You should be able to walk into a venue and ask to see what the lighting looks like. You should not have to wait around for the tech to focus and color the lighting before you have to start.

This is, of course, if you are intending to use the standard rig, and don’t required a special set up for your event. There needs to be something rigged that can work straight out. If anything special is required this should have been worked out before when the initial booking was made.

The standard lighting is there to make a show happen with very little setup time. Most venues have a standard setup, and it should be ready to use the moment the client walks in the door for their booking. It needs to be focused corrected and properly colored.

What a Venue Should Do to Ensure the Lighting Is Ready.

Time should always be allowed for a lighting focus check before a hire. Your standard setup may not have been changed for the last client, but it is possible for lights to drift out of focus. So check before the client steps through the door.

If the previous client had the lighting changed to suit their particular production, they should also have made sure that it was returned to standard and obviously paid the associated costs.

To make life easier when you come to refocus, make sure that you have up to date lighting plans, patching charts, and color plots etc. The entire lighting setup should be documented, and any changes notated on the paperwork. Version control of documents becomes very handy as lighting plots evolve with the addition of new equipment etc.

It is also a good idea to keep copies of the relevant documents near where they are needed. For example, dimmer hook up charts should be near the dimmers. Patch bays can have charts kept next to them. You could even mark the patch points that are always used for the standard lighting rig. But most of all make sure it is up to date and that the newest copy is available for the duty tech.

The key to making a standard lighting setup great is paperwork. Document it, don’t keep it in your head. No one can read your thoughts. I have seen venues where there is none or little paperwork, and they are a nightmare to work in. If you consider yourself a professional act like a professional.

While the design process itself may be no simple task, the amateur designer may find comfort in the fact that here are really only three types of scenery: backdrops, flats, and platforms.

Backdrops

Backdrops are curtains or drops. They are unframed, painted pieces of canvas or other material and are used to provide the background for a scene. Backdrops give the audience a basic feel for the setting of a play. They can be as simple as a cyc that is lighted to look like the sky or as complex as a very detailed painting of a landscape.

As the name implies, backdrops are usually placed at the back of the stage. It is sometimes useful to use backdrops as curtains to separate the stage into different acting areas. For example, the term “In One” refers to the downstage third (or fourth) of the stage and is separated from the rest of the stage by its own backdrop. This allows scene changes to occur behind the backdrop, while a scene is acted in front of the “In One” scenery.

Backdrops may be attached to a pipe and flown in from above, unrolled from above or below, attached to the back wall of the stage, or even brought in from the side on a traverse rail.

If the play calls for it, or you have backdrops available and are on a limited budget, or you are not able to build an actual set, a play can be performed entirely on a bare stage with nothing put backdrops as the only type of scenery.

Flats

Flats are framed pieces of scenery. Most often, the frame is made out of wood and is covered in either canvas (for a ‘soft’ flat) or a thin sheet of wood. The flat surface is then painted and decorated in whatever way is needed for the design.

The basic flat is four feet by eight feet (4′ x 8′) and is usually attached to other flats to create walls. This is how most sets are built. However, flats can be made into any shape, such as trees, cars, or whatever is needed.

Flats may be supported from above or braced to each other or the stage walls. If the theater allows it, flats may also be attached to the stage floor. More often than not, however, flats will need to be attached to platforms.

Platforms

Platforms are framed pieces made of wood that serve as floors, landings, and other horizontal surfaces. They help to separate the acting area into levels, which may be connected to each other using stairs or other platforms. Platforms can be placed at any height by adding legs of the length needed.

As stated above, flats may be attached secured to platform to create scenery units that have both a floor and walls.

Wagons

Wagons could be counted as a fourth type of scenery, but they are really just platforms with wheels. Building a set piece — a platform with flats attached — as a wagon would allow the scenery to be rolled on and off the stage as needed.

Knowing the Different Types of Scenery Helps

As a scene designer, you are faced with the great task of creating a great set for a show. Your job is easier if you remember that there are only three basic types of scenery. Now all you have to do is figure out which is appropriate for your show. That, of course, all depends on the type of show you’re doing, what the director wants, and how much space you have to store all of the scenery.

Theatre folk are a superstitious lot. Even in modern times, when experience, science, and technology has proven many past beliefs to be simply old tales, many hold on to the old traditions, if not because of belief, than just because they are fun.

It should be noted that many of the superstitions practiced in theatre began because they were safe and practical things to do. Here are some theatre superstitions and explanations as to how they began:

Whistling Backstage

Superstition: It is bad luck to whistle backstage.

In the early days of modern theater, out-of-work sailors were hired to operate the flying scenery. Because they were familiar with ropes, knots, and sails, they were naturally suited to control the heavy scenery that was raised and lowered from above the stage.

On board ship, sailors would whistle to each other to signal when it was safe or practical to untie a rope or let loose a sail. These whistled signals were brought into the theater by the sailors. If someone whistled without thinking, scenery could literally come crashing down on someone’s head.

Break a Leg

Superstition: Saying “good luck” to an actor before going onstage will jinx him. Say “break a leg” instead.

There are a few stories about this superstition. One has to do with those evil sprites or ghosts that just don’t like it when wishes come true. If you wish good luck to someone, the naughty spirits are going to make sure that something unlucky happens. So, to fool them, wish that something bad happens (like breaking a leg), and those little devils will make sure it doesn’t happen.

Another story about this tradition is that in ancient Greece, people did not applaud by clapping their hands together, but by stomping their feet on the ground. Telling an actor to “break a leg” meant that you wished him to do so well that members of the audience would fracture their bones showing their appreciation of the performance.

Ghost Light

Superstition: When no one is in the theater, keep a light burning on the stage to keep the ghosts away (or happy).

A version of the “ghost light” superstition says that ghost will not come out if a light is on, because it believes people will be present. Therefore, when a theater is empty, a light on stage would prevent a ghost from taking up residence in the theater.

Some people believe that keeping the ghost light on will keep a theater’s resident ghosts happy because they can not only see, but they will be able to do their own shows on stage

Another belief is that theaters are only completely dark when they are closed. Closed theaters don’t make any money.

The practical side to this is that no one will get hurt trying to find a light switch in a dark theater.

Closed Theater

Superstition: If you say a theater is “closed,” the current or next show will fail. Say “the theater is dark.”

As mentioned above, this superstition reflects the idea that a closed theater does not make money. Although a theater might be closed for only a short time in between shows, it was considered bad luck to say the word “closed.” It must have been those evil spirits again. They had to be fooled, so it was better to say “dark.”

Bad Dress Rehearsal

Superstition: Bad dress rehearsals mean the show will be a success.

Everyone who has experienced working on a play knows that by the time you get to tech and dress rehearsals, everyone is exhausted. This could affect the performance during the last rehearsals. Because a bad dress rehearsal tends to make the cast and crew of a show very nervous, they probably put in extra effort on opening night to make it a success.

Real Flowers Onstage

Superstition: Never use real flowers on stage.

Real flowers can be bad luck because they are expensive. Paying for new flowers everyday or every other day could cut into a theater’s profits and maybe close the show.

Having vases containing water on stage is also not a good idea because they could be knocked over and cause a slipping hazard. Plus, petals and leaves tend to fall off dying plants, causing even more trouble.

Peacock Feathers

Superstition: Peacock feathers should never be brought on stage or the show will have bad luck.

The design on peacock feathers has always been associated with the “evil eye.” Who wants a bunch of evil eyes looking at you while you are performing?

The Scottish Play

The ultimate bad luck will come to a production if someone says “Macbeth” in the theater.

Why is the name of this play such bad luck? Shakespeare’s play is full of witches and ghosts. Not only were these things considered evil, but stories were told that real witches were used in early productions. Another common tale was that the first actor to play Lady Macbeth died backstage during a show and cursed the play forever.

Many tragedies have befallen troops who have performed this play. Theaters have burned down. Actors and others have been killed during productions. Many theaters closed after a bad production of the play.

Perhaps the reason that it has such a bad history is because it is a very old play. It is popular and often produced when theater companies need a well-known play to round out their season. It’s evil nature makes the bad things that happen during production stand out.

If you could research the terrible things that happened during productions of Romeo and Juliet or A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you might find that just as many tragedies have affected those plays as have tainted the Scottish Play.

To Be or Not To Be – Superstitious

Many theater traditions today began as superstitions. Some people may still believe in the supernatural ability to influence the type of luck an actor or production may have, but many of these rituals are simply common sense practices.

Whether you believe in superstitions or not, it is fun to keep these traditions alive. Are you willing to tempt fate?

The audition notice should have stated what the director expects you to prepare. Different directors and theatre groups have different audition methods. Always be polite and flexible.

Greeting

Someone will probably be there to greet you as you enter the audition space. They may be set up behind a table or at the door. This could be the director or the producer of the show or just a volunteer. They will usually give you an application form, a number tag, and they may take your picture. They may also tell you where the “sides” are, so that you can look them over before giving a cold reading.

Other actors will be there filling out their applications and nervously waiting their turn.

Audition Application

The casting committee will want to know your personal contact information including your address, phone numbers, email, etc. Height, possibly other physical attributes. You will also list any acting or performing experience you have (you are usually given the opportunity to staple your resume and headshot to the application).

You’ll have to list any conflicts you have with the rehearsal schedule. Most applications will include spaces for the parts are you audition for, special talents or skills, whether or not you willing to work backstage or volunteer for something else, information about any membership fees for the company, and a parent’s signature if you are a minor.

The greeter may collect your application and take it to the director before you enter, or you may be asked to bring it in yourself.

The Audition

Many directors see each actor separately and privately, while some hold auditions with all the other applicants watching. The same is true for musical directors. If you are trying out for a musical, you may be asked to sing privately or in front of everyone.

For musicals, the director, musical director, and choreographer may ask individuals or groups to work with them in a different area, or they may all be in the same space. They may ask you to act, sing, and dance (the choreographer will show you the steps) individually or as a group. The key is to be flexible. Remain polite and cooperative.

The director will probably want to hear your monologue first. Do not look at the director while doing your monologue; act as though you were in front of an audience. The director is judging how well you’ve memorized your lines, portray the character, and whether or not you are good enough for the role for which you are auditioning.

You will usually read a side or directly from the script. A side is a small part of a scene that includes dialogue for two or more actors. This is called a “cold reading,” since you may never have seen the lines before. However, if you’ve prepared properly, you should know the character and may even have had a copy of the script and have studied the character.

Do not cover your face with the sides. Remember to project. Try to portray the character as well as you can using your voice, facial expressions, body language, and reactions to other actors. The director understands that this is the first time you may have seen the lines, but he is looking at how well you act.

You may be asked to read a part for which you have no interest. This may be to help the other actors or the director may wish to see your ability to play different parts.

The director may make some suggestions about how to play the role. Listen carefully, and if he asks you to read the part again, try to incorporate his directions into your acting.

At the end of the audition, the director may offer some observations about your acting. Remember to smile and say “Thank you.”

What Happens Next?

If you are not sure if you should remain after your audition or are permitted to leave, ask the director or another staff member. Some directors like to address everyone at the end of the auditions.

Usually, you’ll be told that you will receive a call or message informing you of call backs or telling you you have been cast in a role. Directors rarely tell the actors at the audition. Now, you simply wait and hope to hear that you’ve got the part.